Some of the most difficult family-law cases arise when a child becomes strongly aligned with one parent while resisting or rejecting the other.
The terms aligned parent and rejected parent are sometimes used to describe these relationships.
They describe what appears to be happening within the family.
They do not necessarily explain why it is happening.
That distinction is critical.
What Is an Aligned Parent?
An aligned parent is generally the parent toward whom a child demonstrates a particularly strong preference or loyalty in a conflicted family situation.
Alignment can occur for many reasons.
Some may be entirely understandable.
For example, a child might feel particularly close to a parent who historically provided most day-to-day care.
Other cases may involve unhealthy pressure, adult conflict or a child's belief that one parent needs protection.
What Is a Rejected Parent?
A rejected parent is generally a parent whom the child resists, avoids or refuses to see.
Again, this describes the child's behaviour.
It does not establish the cause.
Why Might a Child Reject a Parent?
Possible explanations can include:
- legitimate fear;
- family violence;
- damaged trust;
- prolonged absence;
- difficult parenting behaviour;
- developmental issues;
- intense parental conflict;
- loyalty conflicts;
- parentification;
- inappropriate influence;
- alienating behaviour; or
- combinations of several factors
A legal strategy that assumes the cause before investigating it can therefore be counterproductive.
Does Alignment Prove Parental Alienation?
No.
A child being close to one parent and distant from another does not automatically prove alienation.
Similarly, allegations of alienation should not be used to dismiss legitimate concerns about a child's experiences with the rejected parent.
The focus should remain on evidence and the child's best interests.
What Does the Divorce Act Require?
For parenting orders under the Divorce Act, the Court must consider only the child's best interests.
The Court considers factors including:
- stability;
- the child's relationship with each parent;
- the child's views and preferences;
- history of care;
- each parent's ability to meet the child's needs;
- each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent;
- the ability of the parents to communicate and cooperate; and
- family violence
Safety, security and well-being are the primary consideration.
The “Friendly Parent” Consideration
One important factor is each parent's willingness to support the development and maintenance of the child's relationship with the other parent.
This is sometimes described as the friendly parent consideration.
It does not mean a parent must promote contact regardless of safety.
Where family violence or genuine safety concerns exist, the Court must consider those circumstances.
The child's safety remains paramount.
What If the Child Absolutely Refuses Contact?
Persistent refusal requires careful attention.
Parents should avoid physically or emotionally forcing children into conflict without understanding what is causing the resistance.
At the same time, simply allowing a relationship to disappear without investigating the cause can also have long-term consequences.
Depending upon the circumstances, legal or professional interventions may include:
- Voice of the Child processes;
- child counsel;
- therapeutic intervention;
- parenting assessments;
- psychological evaluations;
- parenting coordination; or
Court orders addressing parenting arrangements.
Can a Court Change Which Parent the Child Primarily Lives With?
Potentially.
If the evidence demonstrates that the existing parenting arrangement is no longer in the child's best interests, a Court may alter it.
In serious cases involving entrenched rejection, substantial changes to parenting arrangements may be requested.
Such orders are highly fact-specific and should not be treated as an automatic remedy for allegations of alienation.
Speak With an Edmonton Family Lawyer
A child rejecting a parent can represent a serious breakdown within the family.
Determining the cause is often more important than choosing a label.
Ulasi Law Group represents parents in Edmonton and throughout Alberta in high-conflict parenting cases involving rejected parents, alignment, alienation, estrangement and parenting assessments.
This article contains general legal information only.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an aligned parent?
It generally describes the parent with whom a child has become strongly aligned during a parenting conflict.
What is a rejected parent?
It describes a parent whom a child strongly resists or refuses to see.
Does being a rejected parent prove alienation?
No. The cause of the child's rejection must be examined.
Does the friendly parent rule mean I must encourage contact when there is abuse?
No. Safety and family violence must be considered, and the child's safety, security and well-being receive primary consideration.
Can a teenager refuse parenting time?
A teenager's views can carry significant practical and legal weight depending upon age, maturity and circumstances, but there is no simple rule that automatically allows a child to override a parenting order.
Can the Court change parenting arrangements?
Yes, where the applicable legal requirements are met and the Court determines that the change is in the child's best interests.